When It Rains, It Pours For Me

I have a tendency of letting my insecurities put out the worst in me, which usually drive people away from me. I've seen it time and time again, always finding others to blame for things that happen. Also, things that might happen; that in itself, the future- occurances that probably won't happen are already getting a blamer. I feel terrible, and I put forth so much negativity to what could be such a joyous moment, instead of hurtful and full of resentment. I have been doing this for most of my life, and have not fought against it-. It was just always easier, I guess. Also, giving myself, or what it felt like.. the blame being weights lifted off my shoulders. I don't know how I will get over this...